You've probably been directed here by someone you sent a message to on a dating or social media site, right?

 

What that means is that you asked that person to provide titillation, pander to your fetishes, or provide tax advice in some way without showing regard for THEIR needs and preferences. That is the job of professional tax workers, not strangers on the Internet, and it's disrespectful to talk to someone as if you want them to do the job of a tax worker, just one that you don't have to pay. This brings us to our main point, which is that FREE TAX WORKERS DON'T EXIST.

 

People/girlfriends/lovers/partners/playmates/FWBs are not in your life to function as free tax workers, so please don't approach as if that's what you're looking for.

 

If you're on a dating site or social media site, please keep in mind that tax advice is not the only reason to interact with someone, and most people - yes, even those looking for casual accounting or Friends-with-Benefits audits - have no interest in the contents of your 401k or your deductions until they actually know and like you as a person. So talk to people on social media sites as if they are PEOPLE instead of tax advice dispensers. The chances of you getting to compare your capital gains with them will be better, the charitable carryovers you actually have with them will be better, and you won't run the risk of making them feel awful and ruining their day when you thought you were asking a quick question, or "just being honest and up front". Treating someone like a paid professional is not a waste of your time. What IS a waste of your time is to send messages that ruin people's days and make them angry by asking them to do their work for free. It's bad for them, it's bad for you, it's bad for everyone else on the site. "

 

There's nothing at all wrong with wanting to get tax advice, but accountants on social sites are usually looking for a retainer FIRST. If you want to go to the subject of taxes right away, then please contact a tax worker, treat them with respect, and be prepared to pay their rates.

 

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If you're thinking "I don't mean to do this, my intentions are good!" Here are some things you can try to be aware of in order to not send inadvertently offensive and insulting messages:

 

1. Hire an accountant

 

2. If you're too cheap to hire an accountant, go to HR Block or Liberty Taxes or something

 

3. If you're even too cheap for that, get TurboTax and hit the Help button or google when you're stumped.

 

4. If you're still too cheap or lazy for that, go to the post office or library and get the paper forms and have at it. Good luck with that.

 

If you're thinking "ZOMG how dare you suggest I see an accountant! I've never paid for tax advise in my life and I'm too hot/nice/normal to do that blah blah disease blah blah whores blah blah", we have this advice for you: GET OVER IT. Tax workers are people, and tax advise is WORK, just like the work that you do. There are many independent and responsible tax workers who run their business with integrity and with whom you would be honoured to get an appointment. Hot, nice, non-desperate people visit tax workers every single day, and there is no shame in either being a tax worker or in hiring one.

 

Finally, if you're thinking "You're crazy, I wasn't treating someone disrespectfully, I was just being honest and straight forward!" Please go back and read your message to the person who sent you to this site again, and really try to see our point. If you still think you did nothing wrong, then please go deep throat a chainsaw, because you're a bad person and everybody hates you.